Gosh, it’s been ages. We got married on 31st August last year and I had fully intended to begin blogging again after the wedding on a new and improved site! I also planned to ditch the anonymity, which I kind of have. We do have a new blog lined up and it’s one for me & Mr M to work on but I think that might be on hold for a little while.
I recently dipped my toe into the wedding planning pool again with my best friend and realised how much I missed writing blogs & joining in with conversations in the Twitter-sphere. Some of my online wedding pals know that I have my Twitter account for all things wedding (@Mrs_Martin_) and I also have my other account which I use for work & my non-wedding stuff. If anyone wants to follow me there, let me know, I’m there more often than here! I don’t want to declare my Twitter name on here really but if you want it, you can have it. Send me a tweet.
Anyway, I visited the Designer Vintage Bridal show on Sunday and loved it. I’ve missed the glamour, creativity and sheer friendliness of everyone I met in the wedding industry. So, I promise to be back here more often now that I’m a wife and my life has settled down a little. Look out for our wedding being blogged by The Wedding Reporter soon and I’ll write a post about our wedding and all of the excitement that came with it! I can’t wait to share it with you.
Let me have all of your news, I’ve missed my blogging pals!
Mrs M xx
So, I’m married! I am no longer Nearly Mrs Martin, I am Mrs Martin! Well, in real life I’m not as there was no time to change my passport so I have travelled on my honeymoon under my maiden name! Still, I am Mrs Martin by heart.
We are on our honeymoon in Thailand right now. We have spent a week in Bangkok and we are now spending our four nights on Koh Pangan before travelling to Ko Samui for our final three nights. My husband (I love saying that!) organised our honeymoon and boy, did he do good!! We are going to write up our travel diary with amazing photos taken by Mr M and they will be the first posts on our new blog. So, watch this space!
I looked over my blog with a small amount of sadness – sadness that I didn’t have time to post as regularly as I would have liked in the lead up to The Big Day and sadness that the wedding planning is over! I will do a little write up of the wedding day from my angle and look forward to the day I receive my wonderful wedding report from Emma. It was an honour to have Emma and Frankie at our wedding, documenting the details. In all honesty, I am in awe of the whole team of wonderful “suppliers” around me on the day itself and in the build up. I couldn’t have had such a perfect day without them.
We are currently sitting on our covered decking watching the heavy rain come down into our pool whilst the temperature remains as high as before and we have been talking about our wedding. It spurred me on to read over my blog and to post a little short something to say that I’m still here and planning to keep on blogging as a married lady. I’ve so enjoyed my time with the wedding and blogging community, I can’t give it all up now!
See you soon.
Mrs M x
Well, blog posts from me are rare these days but my betrothed and I have plans for a new blog to work on together after the wedding. It’s just too busy beforehand but we are looking forward to it afterwards when we have more time. He will share his photography and I will continue to ramble on about things I find interesting whenever I can. This blog has been wonderful in order to increase my confidence with writing and I will be sad to put it to bed but thankful to be able to share the new blog – I don’t think I’ll hide behind an anonymous title anymore. That’s a big step!
In terms of wedding planning, there is a lot to update upon! We have 39 days to go (and only 26 office days for me!) and we are almost there. The waters seem calm at the moment…
One major change has happened and that’s my number of bridesmaids reducing from 4 to 3. My lovely pregnant bridesmaid has sadly had some complications and is on bed rest from now (26 weeks) and will either be unable to get out of bed or will be with a premature baby who will have to stay in hospital until full term. So, after discussions with her and her husband, we all decided the pressure would be off for her to simply say that she wouldn’t be a bridesmaid. Otherwise, knowing her kindness, she will spend her time thinking of different ways to be there. All I want for her is a healthy baby and a healthy stress free mummy. She needs to do what is best and I support her all the way.
Everything else has progressed with little stress apart from my brother failing to show up for a dress fitting but that’s a different story and he assures me he’ll sort it out. If I report that we had no ushers at our wedding, you’ll know what happened!!
My two biggest planning jobs for this week are to find underwear and shoes. I have my first dress fitting on 1st August and I have little time left for this shopping trip! I haven’t been able to find shoes I’ve liked yet so I think the time is right to try local Rachel Simpson and her fabulous shoes.
Wish me luck!
I was worried about my hen party but I should never have doubted my friends. They planned and executed the perfect weekend.
It began by 11 girls arriving at my house on the Friday night, each carrying a sleeping bag so I didn’t have to wash lots of bedding after they’d left and, most importantly, carrying wine. We ordered the biggest order of Chinese Take-Away that I’d ever seen and chatted and chatted and chatted. Half way through the meal, one of my friends stood up and announced that she was thrilled to welcome Prince Charming. Everyone smiled, I panicked. Cue Prince Charming walking into my lounge carrying roses (and the sweet and sour sauce missed from our earlier order and delivered to Prince Charming by a confused delivery guy) and I immediately said “please don’t take your clothes off!”. He promised he wouldn’t and when everyone else stopped laughing, he began to sing “I know you” from Sleeping Beauty. Lucky me (and lucky him), I had spotted my friend’s sister and also how nervous this guy looked and realised it was just a poor lad being called upon for a favour so I told him he didn’t have to sing and gave him a beer. He looked so relieved, posed for photos and sat with us until the conversation turned uncomfortably girlie and departed.
Me and the girls chatted into the night and caught up on old times like we had never been apart. Just as good friends do.
The next morning, my very domesticated and pregnant bridesmaid showed herself for the maternal, domestic goddess that she is and made everyone a cooked breakfast. We giggled about “boobs over breakfast” as she hadn’t realised how ample her chest had become and ended up using a clothes peg to pin her top together as she cooked.
Some girls had to leave so we said our goodbyes and those that remained were piled into cars and we all headed off to paint pottery. It was lovely to have us all together but the service at the pottery cafe left a lot to be desired and I looked up at one point to see everyone looking frantic, painting their items knowing we didn’t have much time and we would probably be thrown out!
After pottery painting, we returned home and all prepared a wonderful afternoon tea whilst singing along to Dirty Dancing. We ate lovely food and drank a lot of Pimms whilst more girls arrived.
That evening, we merrily got our best dresses on and headed to a very fancy hotel in Birmingham City Centre to a private dining room where we had a gorgeous two course meal followed by cupcakes made by one of my bridesmaids and decorated with a heart shaped photo of me and my betrothed. I was treated to a ‘Mr & Mrs Quiz’ and asked to wear a tiara.
Following the decadent private dining experience (with champagne and our own waiter) we went to a Gin Parlour and enjoyed gin cocktails before some ladies headed home and a few of us went dancing into the early hours.
After a hangover busting brunch the next day, all of the ladies left and it was quiet in the house. I was left with a beautiful ‘And they lived happily ever after’ sign and a promise that all of the photos would be put together in an album with messages from all of my girls.
My puppy was returned to me that afternoon by my Dad and me and the pooch spent the afternoon sleeping off a wonderful weekend.
So, there are just 112 days to go until our wedding and I’ve just spent a couple of hours getting on top of our wedding budget. We had set one out a while ago and we’ve been saving hard and spending bit by bit but I hadn’t actually sat down and set it all out in an all singing, all dancing spreadsheet. I have to do accounts as part of my job so I’ve been putting the wedding spreadsheet off for ages! It’s the last thing I want to do after a day at work!!
I feel quite satisfied that the spreadsheet worked out and didn’t result in any scary surprises. We seem to be on target with bringing the money in but we have overspent on some things and I fear that we have under budgeted on other things. I’m not sure whether we will get cars and a band for the budget we have set, but hey, that’s part of the fun!
We have met some fabulous suppliers and deposits have been paid to secure them for our big day. Don’t underestimate how helpful they can be! If it wasn’t for the wonderful ladies of Ava Event Styling, I probably wouldn’t have a clue about how the day would actually look! Now, I can stop stressing about colours, table decorations, flowers and cakes as I know it is all in good hands and I am so excited to see what they come up with!
I was nearly there with the bridesmaid dresses and about to make the purchase when my best bud announced she was pregnant! Obviously, I’m thrilled, but it has made me reconsider the dress purchase. She will be 7 months pregnant on the wedding day so I need to wait a little while longer to see how big she will be! So, the decision on the dresses is still to be made…!
So, thankfully all is on track with very little stress, well….apart from the venue issue. But that’s for another post!!!
I have always been aware of issues of being female – the glass ceiling etc etc but I didn’t really expect it to be an issue in my life. I’m fairly feisty, I can hold my own and I believe that we are all equal. Any blokey ‘banter’ that has come my way has been dealt with with good humour and a strong backbone. This hasn’t been the problem for me, I was taken by surprise by a different feminist issue.
I find myself in a situation and I don’t really know what to do. I’m 31 in April, getting married in August. I’d like to start a family and my husband to be and I have already talked about when we might want to start trying for a baby. This is all very exciting. I can’t wait to be a mommy and I hope and pray everything turns out alright.
The difficulty is that I’m quite ambitious. I trained for 7 years to enter my profession and since then I have undertaken a further 2 years of exams to obtain an additional qualifications, whilst working full time. I worked for a large, commercial firm for a few years and then moved to a smaller firm. The move was partly to do with work/life balance – I didn’t want to be whipped about time recording and bills as harshly as I had been – but also because I knew I could achieve more in a smaller firm. I am interested in management and marketing and I wanted to feel as though I was part of a business that I could help to shape the future of.
There has been talk of partnership in the firm and I’m very interested in it. I would begin as a salaried partner with a view to being invited to buy in and become an equity partner at some time in the future. General and minor frustrations aside and ignoring all economic reasons to consider whether equity partnership is right, the idea of promotion and responsibility speaks to me. Of course I want to be a partner – I’ve worked really hard and without trying to sound arrogant, I really think I deserve it. I do contribute more than on a files and bills level. I help bring work into the business and I help manage my team. I’m happy to take on the role.
BUT I also want to be a mom. I don’t want to work all hours when I have a baby. I want to be home with my baby and my husband (and hopefully my dog!). I want to work from home more often so I can try to keep control of my home life when I return to work and I don’t think I will want to work full time.
What does that mean for the business? My rights aside, how annoying is it for a business to promote someone to partnership to then find that she goes part time and is never in the office! I know that I am entitled to be considered and I deserve promotion but what if I don’t want all that responsibility when my babies come along? What if I just want to do my job and get home?
If I didn’t have babies, I would focus on this goal and hit it head first and not give up until I’d done everything I could to be considered for partnership. Because I know I want a baby and this could be something that happens relatively soon, should I reconsider my options? I know my priorities will change. I already feel they will because I know what kind of mother I’d like to be.
Occasionally, I consider a career change. The reasons behind this would take too long to explain but the point of this is to say that I feel I can’t change career now as I might not be in my new job for very long before I went off on maternity leave. Job security would then be an issue.
I try to consider different options for working from home but I don’t have the big idea which will end up with me working for myself and being able to stay home. So, for now, I’m stuck in this middle-zone of career versus motherhood.
I know that everyone says that we should be able to have both but how are people successful at both? Are you a great mom but putting less in at work or are you a great employee but don’t get much time at home? How do you balance it? Being a perfectionist, I want to be the best I can be in any role I take on. I’m worried that something is going to have to give and it will have to be the job.
I don’t know what to do with that at the moment.