loveyoueverything

Wedding Planning Part One

Posted on: October 1, 2011

As I sit here in my garden, enjoying this unusual October sunshine, I’ve been enjoying catching up with not only my favourite wedding blogs but also new blogs I am finding since I began this blogging and twitter journey. The welcome I have had as a newbie on twitter has been amazing and I cannot believe how quickly and warmly I have been welcomed into the blogging community. For those of you who have done this, and you know who you are, I cannot thank you enough. I have wanted to do something like this for ages and you have all made me feel that it’s a great idea already – and I’ve only been here for just over a week!

It has inspired me to begin to set down the story of my wedding planning journey so far. I hope you’ll indulge me as this first bit is about the tough time we had when we first set out to plan our big day, it’s probably also going to be a bit long – try not to fall asleep!

Our ‘First’ Wedding

I am really enjoying wedding planning, however, I see this as me planning my ‘second’ wedding. No, I haven’t already been married, it is actually my first and hopefully only wedding! It’s just that our wedding planning has taken on two distinct stages. We got engaged on our second anniversary and that was almost two years ago. We had originally set the date for September 2011 and had started to try to get a plan together. I found it really stressful! The realisation of how much this whole wedding was going to cost nearly sent me into a spin. I had tried to drastically cut numbers but coming from a traditional Irish Catholic family, the number of aunties, uncles and cousins who would have to be invited added to the other side of my family and G’s smaller family meant that we had reached over 60 guests with just the relatives. That seemed ok, we’ll manage with say 100 guests and we can have 40 friends/work colleagues. But then family pressures came in, “aren’t you going to invite the family from Ireland?” “What about the Welsh relatives, are they coming?” “What about Mrs X, she’s at all the parties, you can’t not invite her”. Which lead me to have a number of Bridezilla tizzy-fits having only reached stage one of my wedding planning! Friends advised me to keep repeating “it’s our day, it’ll be how we want it. It’s our day, it’ll be how we want it”, only for me to be told I sounded spoilt. Argh. Couple that with the fact that we were only renting our apartment and the pressure of spending such a lot of money when we couldn’t get a deposit for house together, made me very uneasy. Everyone said, “I didn’t think you were like that” – see my earlier post of how I feel about people saying that to me – and exclaiming that they were surprised as they had expected me to have planned it all within five minutes! Double Argh.

So, we made a big decision to postpone the wedding. This was a great decision made after I had spent the night with one of my two BFFs and talked it through. She felt the same way, that it wasn’t like me and that something was wrong with the whole situation. The next morning, whilst she slept off her hangover as a result of probably trying to drink herself into a coma as I talked her to death about the wedding, I sat in her beautiful garden with a cup of tea and the newspaper. It was a property newspaper, showing houses for sale in my dear hometown of Birmingham. I found a house in an area that we liked with what looked like quite a nice sized back garden and I called G. I said, how about we take all this money that we were going to spend on the wedding and use it for a deposit instead? I made him go to a computer and find the house online. I showed him the garden of this house and said maybe, just maybe, we could buy a house and have the wedding reception in the garden? And so started the planning to buy a house and the wedding went on hold for a while. When I was constantly asked ‘have you set a date yet?’, I could easily and happily say, ‘no, not just yet but we are buying a house! House first, then it’s the big wedding’, to which they would advise that yes, that seemed sensible and then they were happy.

We didn’t buy a house with a big enough garden to hold a wedding but we did buy a beautiful, Victorian mid-terrace on a tree-lined street next to a gorgeous park. It’s close enough to the City Centre for G’s job and only 3 miles from my office. It is big enough for us to start a family here if we choose to and we are very happy with our home. It’s modern enough for G and traditional enough for me. I love the old tiles, fireplaces and doors. We’re so lucky.

After we’d moved in, it didn’t take long for the wedding bug to get me. I embraced every magazine, blog and celebrity wedding with so much enthusiasm that I was drinking in all of the details as if I was a whole new person. No, not a new person, it was as if I was me. I’d obviously just needed to get the house. To have the security and to settle a little before taking on this enormous, yet completely amazing task.

So, I’m back! I’ve been back for a year, since we moved into our beautiful home (which needs an awful lot of work but that’s a post-wedding job!) and I’m enjoying planning my ‘second’ wedding.

I wanted to share this as during the time the ‘first’ wedding was being planned, people would ask me if it was just that I wasn’t ready to get married. Nonsense. I am and was ready to marry G. It was all that I wanted. So, don’t let people make you doubt yourself. If you’re uneasy, yes something might be wrong, but maybe it’s just that you don’t want to do it the way everyone else wants you or expects you to do it. Find your own path. You’ll be happier that way. Take a moment to stop, breathe and let the wedding rollercoaster stop. Wait until you’re ready to climb back on and then enjoy the ride.

We get married in 335 days (so says my wedding countdown app) and I know that the time will pass so quickly. I’m going to savour and enjoy every second of planning it.

Bx

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7 Responses to "Wedding Planning Part One"

Enjoyable reading, I’m looking forward to part 2. I’m in the midlands too, near Stafford. x

Thank you Anne. I’m hoping this is the first of many wedding posts. It’s lovely to set it all down.

Nice to hear you’re nearby – I love the Midlands. I used to live North Warwickshire side but now I’m very near to Edgbaston Cricket Ground x

Great post. I got engaged in July and have set the date for Autumn next year. Sometimes I feel sick with all the decisions to be made and have to make sure I take time off!

Hi Jen,

Congratulations on getting engaged! I hope you enjoy your wedding planning journey. It’s overwhelming and fantastic in equal measure! I get a lot of inspiration and counselling from wedding blogs so my advice would be to keep reading! Other brides are going through it too 🙂

Good luck with the planning and keep in touch, i’d love to share our journeys.

What date in Autumn have you picked? X

A refreshing read, and a lovely blog post. Even reading it feels like a fresh start! I look forward to hearing how you get on with your guest list and planning: for now I’m very happy to read that you’ve binned your “first wedding” and are making such a positive fresh start with wedding #2 – good luck!
Claire x

Hi Claire,

Thanks so much for your comments! I’ve been a big fan of your blog since we got engaged and so I’m really honoured that you’ve read my post and taken the time to comment – thank you! It’s certainly very cathartic to set it all down and if it helps other brides, well then that’s a great thing!

I can’t wait to continue to update my blog with all of the planning – I love it!

Thanks again

Bx

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