Wedding Stresses

Posted on: November 23, 2011

With all of this wedding and honeymoon planning, I knew I was to expect to feel excited, happy, positive, hopeful and every other wonderful feeling that comes with planning such an important day. What I didn’t expect was that it also comes with a fair amount of anxiety and stress! It’s not to say that the bad outweighs the good, oh no! It’s just that you have to learn that the bad stuff will come along and you have to see past it and embrace the loveliness again.

From day one, people have opinions about your wedding. You would expect the largest opinions to come from the mothers of the bride and groom and that is the case, but everyone else has an opinion too! Now, not that I mind (oh, you do mind, I hear you say, otherwise it wouldn’t have made its way onto your blog!), but just the other day, someone heard just a bit of a conversation I was having about the wedding. I was discussing bridesmaid dresses and the difficulty with picking yellow when someone who knew one of my bridesmaids piped up with ‘oh she won’t appreciate being made to wear that colour!’. Now, personally, I’m not offended by that – not least because I’ve been given fabulous inspiration to change the colour of the dresses and just have the yellow in the flowers and decorations – but it was more that I wondered why that person hadn’t thought about what they were saying before they said it. What if I had chosen yellow? Set my heart on it? Found the dresses? What then? Well then you’ve just poo-pooed my wedding plans!

Another person told me I couldn’t have yellow roses as it meant I ‘love another’. This was immediately after I’d said that the only detail I had decided on was to have yellow roses. My decision was made! As if I love another when I’m marrying THE ONE that very day. That very same day that I’m holding the yellow roses!

There are opinions on the guest list – I bet this is one of the biggest issues for most couples! Are you inviting this person and that person and your old aunty who you haven’t seen for 20 years? What’s worse is when you speak to someone who tells you about their outfit for your wedding when you haven’t even invited them yet! At the moment, we haven’t told anyone who is invited and who isn’t! We know it’s going to be controversial so we’re waiting as long as possible to break the news!

What I’ve learnt? You can’t do right for doing wrong.

What I’ve also learnt? Talk to each other. Take a breath when you hear what people say, then turn to the person you’re going to marry and say ‘this was said to me today’ and hear what he/she has to say. Today, G said to me ‘babe, it’s you and me against the world. It’s our wedding and we are doing the right thing because we decided to do it’.

That’s all I need to keep thinking. It’s me and him against the world. And we’re strong enough to handle everyone’s opinions!



2 Responses to "Wedding Stresses"

I can identify with so much of this post! Nice to know that someone else has had the same stresses as us.

We’ve had a few self-inviters, one of them was the next door but one neighbour of my OH’s parents. When she heard we were getting married she said to OH’s Mum “oh I’d best dust my hat off then!” – the cheek. I don’t think people realise how awkward that situation is, especially when they’re not actually being invited.

Also, opinions… I wish people would keep theirs to themselves sometimes because on occasion their just not necessary. I think unless something is utterly ridiculous people ought to just smile and nod, if they can’t think of anything nice to say maybe they shouldn’t say anything.

Oh god sorry, I’ve just ranted on your blog. Oops!

Laura x

I don’t mind your rant at all! I’m sorry you’re going through it but I’m glad I’m not the only one! It’s all lovey dovey wherever you look but there’s a stark reality to this wedding planning and it’s that you’re not going to please everyone. Saying ‘it’s our day and we’ll do it our way’ doesn’t always work and you can’t always be that way if it means hurting people! People do need to be more reasonable though and stop expecting so much! It’s costing a fortune so back off people!!!

🙂 It’ll be alright on the night, as they say.

Thanks for sharing xx

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