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Posts Tagged ‘bridesmaids

I was worried about my hen party but I should never have doubted my friends. They planned and executed the perfect weekend.

It began by 11 girls arriving at my house on the Friday night, each carrying a sleeping bag so I didn’t have to wash lots of bedding after they’d left and, most importantly, carrying wine. We ordered the biggest order of Chinese Take-Away that I’d ever seen and chatted and chatted and chatted. Half way through the meal, one of my friends stood up and announced that she was thrilled to welcome Prince Charming. Everyone smiled, I panicked. Cue Prince Charming walking into my lounge carrying roses (and the sweet and sour sauce missed from our earlier order and delivered to Prince Charming by a confused delivery guy) and I immediately said “please don’t take your clothes off!”. He promised he wouldn’t and when everyone else stopped laughing, he began to sing “I know you” from Sleeping Beauty. Lucky me (and lucky him), I had spotted my friend’s sister and also how nervous this guy looked and realised it was just a poor lad being called upon for a favour so I told him he didn’t have to sing and gave him a beer. He looked so relieved, posed for photos and sat with us until the conversation turned uncomfortably girlie and departed.

Me and the girls chatted into the night and caught up on old times like we had never been apart. Just as good friends do.

The next morning, my very domesticated and pregnant bridesmaid showed herself for the maternal, domestic goddess that she is and made everyone a cooked breakfast. We giggled about “boobs over breakfast” as she hadn’t realised how ample her chest had become and ended up using a clothes peg to pin her top together as she cooked.

Some girls had to leave so we said our goodbyes and those that remained were piled into cars and we all headed off to paint pottery. It was lovely to have us all together but the service at the pottery cafe left a lot to be desired and I looked up at one point to see everyone looking frantic, painting their items knowing we didn’t have much time and we would probably be thrown out!

After pottery painting, we returned home and all prepared a wonderful afternoon tea whilst singing along to Dirty Dancing. We ate lovely food and drank a lot of Pimms whilst more girls arrived.

That evening, we merrily got our best dresses on and headed to a very fancy hotel in Birmingham City Centre to a private dining room where we had a gorgeous two course meal followed by cupcakes made by one of my bridesmaids and decorated with a heart shaped photo of me and my betrothed. I was treated to a ‘Mr & Mrs Quiz’ and asked to wear a tiara.

Following the decadent private dining experience (with champagne and our own waiter) we went to a Gin Parlour and enjoyed gin cocktails before some ladies headed home and a few of us went dancing into the early hours.

After a hangover busting brunch the next day, all of the ladies left and it was quiet in the house. I was left with a beautiful ‘And they lived happily ever after’ sign and a promise that all of the photos would be put together in an album with messages from all of my girls.

My puppy was returned to me that afternoon by my Dad and me and the pooch spent the afternoon sleeping off a wonderful weekend.

Just perfect.

Bx

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So last night I cried. Lots. It’s mainly because I’m poorly and when I’m poorly, I turn into a big baby. It’s also because the whole hen-do thing is stressing me out.

I have an enormous family. I love them dearly but I’m closer to some than others and the sheer number of aunts, uncles and cousins has led to most issues around guest list/cost/who is involved in what. So, when it came to the hen-do, I didn’t know what to do. If I was honest with myself, I’d have a small hen do with a few immediate girlfriends, my mom and my mother in law to be. However, I couldn’t invite my mom and mother in law without inviting everyone else – such is the situation with family and floodgates. So, my mom reasonably stepped aside and offered to organise a family hen-do, leaving me to have a friends only hen-do, organised by my bridesmaids.

I said to my bridesmaids that I didn’t want a big, expensive hen-do. The wedding will cost enough for guests and I don’t want them resenting spending money on what I see to be a fairly non-essential weekend which most people feel obligated to attend, whether they can afford it or not.

My conditions were:

1. No ‘L’ Plates or other tacky paraphernalia
2. No strippers
3. No silly games where I have to approach anyone outside of my hen party to ask for their pants/number/a dance or anything else which will embarrass me.
4. Nothing that costs too much money – the wedding costs enough already for guests. Low key is the key!

I’m pretty certain some people think I’m being really boring but I can’t bear the thought of being made to wear willy earrings and smear oil over a naked man/woman/dwarf.

The bridesmaids assure me that it will be a classy and relaxed event. I hear that the Save The Date has gone out suggesting it is the Friday and Saturday evening but I may suggest it is kept to just Saturday. People’s time is precious and taking up two days is a lot and will only add to the expense. I contemplated cancelling the whole thing but one of my bridesmaids had a stern word with me about that and it appears to still be on.

My issue is with G’s sisters, who are bridesmaids, and assuring them that they do not need to attend both hen-dos. The family hen-do is for about 35 women. 35! I am not good in big groups. We held a party at our house for my 30th and about 70 people came and I hated it – I know that sounds awful but with the feisty family I have, I was pulled pillar to post ‘you should be doing this’ ‘you should be doing that’ ‘I’ve hardly seen you all night’ ‘where is the Tupperware?’ you get the picture.

My mom is struggling with the organising as there are so many opinions flying about and she is never going to please 35 women. She’s trying to keep me as the focus and her view is that the family can afford to spoil me and if people can’t afford to come, they really aren’t obliged to and so she wants to do something she thinks I’ll love. However, people are arguing about cost, which is reasonable but I’m not sure the tone of the emails to her is quite what my mother wants and she’s getting annoyed. I’ve emailed G’s sisters to suggest they may want to just come to the family hen do and not the friend one, to save costs but I’ve had no reply yet.

So, will my mom end up yelling at people? Have I offended G’s sisters by saying they shouldn’t come to the friends’ hen-do? Should I just cancel the whole thing and just not bother? I’m not sure I really want a hen-do after all.

What to do?

Bx

So, it’s 7 and a half months until the big day – gulp – and there is still a lot to do! (haha every time I write ‘a lot’, I think about this post – have you seen it? It’s GENIUS)

Anyway… so, all of the big decisions are made and I talked about them here. But the details are killing me!

We know from various posts (that I won’t bore you with again) that the bridesmaid dresses are still undecided. With 7 and a half months to go, I still have time to find dresses but the colour needs deciding soon. EVERYTHING revolves around the colour – the flowers, the stationery, my shoes, the groomsmens’ ties, the Mother of the Bride outfit, the decorations and the cake. What’s most annoying is that I’m taking so long to decide. The colour is NOT. THAT. IMPORTANT. I really don’t mind what I have! Well, I know what I don’t want – I don’t want bold colours or dark colours. But I don’t know what I do want or whether I can afford what I eventually decide that I want!

My weekend with the bridesmaids is coming up and I’m sure we’ll make some progress then. That relaxes me about the colour issue but then the dreaded style of dress issue pops into my head. Should they be the same fabric as my dress? The same neckline? Is there a rule about all of this? I know, I know, it’s ‘my day’ so I can do what I want but anyone who knows me, knows I’m a rules and details kinda gal and I want it to look good.

Even bigger than this though we have received a letter from our wedding venue to say that they have had planning permission for building work to ‘improve’ the hotel. Problem is, they’re adding 30 extra rooms! I’ve been telling people we’re getting married in a gorgeous boutique hotel with only 17 rooms (or however many there are at the moment) and now they’re throwing 30 more on?? I’m quite disappointed. I’ve asked them to confirm the impact on our day – are we expected to fill the rooms? If not, do they plan to allow non-wedding guests to stay? I thought we had exclusive use of the hotel and now the after-hours bar and breakfast might be shared with non-wedding guests! I’m waiting for their reply but I’ll certainly have something to say if that’s going to happen. I really don’t want this issue in my wedding planning!! They say the building work will be completed by March but finishing 30 rooms in 2 months? I doubt it.

Other brides will sympathise with me I’m sure when I say that I’m living and breathing this wedding at the moment! Not in an overly stressy way. I’m not putting too much onto the day, it’s just that I’m excited to get planning the finer details and everything has to wait until the bridesmaid weekend. It’s tough isn’t it because a lot of what we plan comes from the style of the dress but you can’t tell anyone about the dress so you can’t share the planning with people and ask for help! It sort of makes it tricky even talking about it to the Groom!

G and I have a rare weekend off together and we do plan to do a bit of wedding organising. We’re going to look at the budget today and then just make some plans for when we’re going to do stuff. Our priority is to get the Save the Date website out so we actually have some guests!

I just want to mention and thank Wedding Sparrow who so kindly helped me with ideas for bridesmaid dresses through Twitter yesterday. I just jumped to her website to link to it on here and spotted her Blush Bridesmaids and Wedding Styling post – I think she may have written that for me – it’s GORGEOUS! *inspired!*

Having woken up this morning thinking about the first dance, I feel so excited. It was a gorgeous feeling. I’m focusing on that and not worrying too much about venues, dresses and colours!! Whatever happens, it’ll be fantastic.

Here’s to a fabulous weekend.

Much love

Bx

With all of this wedding and honeymoon planning, I knew I was to expect to feel excited, happy, positive, hopeful and every other wonderful feeling that comes with planning such an important day. What I didn’t expect was that it also comes with a fair amount of anxiety and stress! It’s not to say that the bad outweighs the good, oh no! It’s just that you have to learn that the bad stuff will come along and you have to see past it and embrace the loveliness again.

From day one, people have opinions about your wedding. You would expect the largest opinions to come from the mothers of the bride and groom and that is the case, but everyone else has an opinion too! Now, not that I mind (oh, you do mind, I hear you say, otherwise it wouldn’t have made its way onto your blog!), but just the other day, someone heard just a bit of a conversation I was having about the wedding. I was discussing bridesmaid dresses and the difficulty with picking yellow when someone who knew one of my bridesmaids piped up with ‘oh she won’t appreciate being made to wear that colour!’. Now, personally, I’m not offended by that – not least because I’ve been given fabulous inspiration to change the colour of the dresses and just have the yellow in the flowers and decorations – but it was more that I wondered why that person hadn’t thought about what they were saying before they said it. What if I had chosen yellow? Set my heart on it? Found the dresses? What then? Well then you’ve just poo-pooed my wedding plans!

Another person told me I couldn’t have yellow roses as it meant I ‘love another’. This was immediately after I’d said that the only detail I had decided on was to have yellow roses. My decision was made! As if I love another when I’m marrying THE ONE that very day. That very same day that I’m holding the yellow roses!

There are opinions on the guest list – I bet this is one of the biggest issues for most couples! Are you inviting this person and that person and your old aunty who you haven’t seen for 20 years? What’s worse is when you speak to someone who tells you about their outfit for your wedding when you haven’t even invited them yet! At the moment, we haven’t told anyone who is invited and who isn’t! We know it’s going to be controversial so we’re waiting as long as possible to break the news!

What I’ve learnt? You can’t do right for doing wrong.

What I’ve also learnt? Talk to each other. Take a breath when you hear what people say, then turn to the person you’re going to marry and say ‘this was said to me today’ and hear what he/she has to say. Today, G said to me ‘babe, it’s you and me against the world. It’s our wedding and we are doing the right thing because we decided to do it’.

That’s all I need to keep thinking. It’s me and him against the world. And we’re strong enough to handle everyone’s opinions!

Bx


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