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Posts Tagged ‘wedding

Hi there!

Gosh, it’s been ages. We got married on 31st August last year and I had fully intended to begin blogging again after the wedding on a new and improved site! I also planned to ditch the anonymity, which I kind of have. We do have a new blog lined up and it’s one for me & Mr M to work on but I think that might be on hold for a little while.

I recently dipped my toe into the wedding planning pool again with my best friend and realised how much I missed writing blogs & joining in with conversations in the Twitter-sphere. Some of my online wedding pals know that I have my Twitter account for all things wedding (@Mrs_Martin_) and I also have my other account which I use for work & my non-wedding stuff. If anyone wants to follow me there, let me know, I’m there more often than here! I don’t want to declare my Twitter name on here really but if you want it, you can have it. Send me a tweet.

Anyway, I visited the Designer Vintage Bridal show on Sunday and loved it. I’ve missed the glamour, creativity and sheer friendliness of everyone I met in the wedding industry. So, I promise to be back here more often now that I’m a wife and my life has settled down a little. Look out for our wedding being blogged by The Wedding Reporter soon and I’ll write a post about our wedding and all of the excitement that came with it! I can’t wait to share it with you.

Let me have all of your news, I’ve missed my blogging pals!

Mrs M xx

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So, I’m married! I am no longer Nearly Mrs Martin, I am Mrs Martin! Well, in real life I’m not as there was no time to change my passport so I have travelled on my honeymoon under my maiden name! Still, I am Mrs Martin by heart.

We are on our honeymoon in Thailand right now. We have spent a week in Bangkok and we are now spending our four nights on Koh Pangan before travelling to Ko Samui for our final three nights. My husband (I love saying that!) organised our honeymoon and boy, did he do good!! We are going to write up our travel diary with amazing photos taken by Mr M and they will be the first posts on our new blog. So, watch this space!

I looked over my blog with a small amount of sadness – sadness that I didn’t have time to post as regularly as I would have liked in the lead up to The Big Day and sadness that the wedding planning is over! I will do a little write up of the wedding day from my angle and look forward to the day I receive my wonderful wedding report from Emma. It was an honour to have Emma and Frankie at our wedding, documenting the details. In all honesty, I am in awe of the whole team of wonderful “suppliers” around me on the day itself and in the build up. I couldn’t have had such a perfect day without them.

We are currently sitting on our covered decking watching the heavy rain come down into our pool whilst the temperature remains as high as before and we have been talking about our wedding. It spurred me on to read over my blog and to post a little short something to say that I’m still here and planning to keep on blogging as a married lady. I’ve so enjoyed my time with the wedding and blogging community, I can’t give it all up now!

See you soon.

Mrs M x

Well, blog posts from me are rare these days but my betrothed and I have plans for a new blog to work on together after the wedding. It’s just too busy beforehand but we are looking forward to it afterwards when we have more time. He will share his photography and I will continue to ramble on about things I find interesting whenever I can. This blog has been wonderful in order to increase my confidence with writing and I will be sad to put it to bed but thankful to be able to share the new blog – I don’t think I’ll hide behind an anonymous title anymore. That’s a big step!

In terms of wedding planning, there is a lot to update upon! We have 39 days to go (and only 26 office days for me!) and we are almost there. The waters seem calm at the moment…

One major change has happened and that’s my number of bridesmaids reducing from 4 to 3. My lovely pregnant bridesmaid has sadly had some complications and is on bed rest from now (26 weeks) and will either be unable to get out of bed or will be with a premature baby who will have to stay in hospital until full term. So, after discussions with her and her husband, we all decided the pressure would be off for her to simply say that she wouldn’t be a bridesmaid. Otherwise, knowing her kindness, she will spend her time thinking of different ways to be there. All I want for her is a healthy baby and a healthy stress free mummy. She needs to do what is best and I support her all the way.

Everything else has progressed with little stress apart from my brother failing to show up for a dress fitting but that’s a different story and he assures me he’ll sort it out. If I report that we had no ushers at our wedding, you’ll know what happened!!

My two biggest planning jobs for this week are to find underwear and shoes. I have my first dress fitting on 1st August and I have little time left for this shopping trip! I haven’t been able to find shoes I’ve liked yet so I think the time is right to try local Rachel Simpson and her fabulous shoes.

Wish me luck!

Bx

I read over some old posts this morning. It was lovely to re-live some of the wedding planning adventures I’ve had so far. Goodness me, I moaned about the bridesmaid dresses a lot! So glad they’ve been found now and I have a colour!

So, I posted about the venue issues we had here and we were faced with a decision whether to change the venue with just 6 months to go. I had a number of Twitter conversations and my thanks go out to all of those in Twitterland who helped me by making suggestions, referring me to venues and just listening and saying lovely, calming things to me. I really, really appreciate your advice.

We started to look around at different venues online. There are so many beautiful venues out there – even more than I’d found when we started looking for venues two years ago! I almost think it would be worth new brides-to-be joining Twitter for a few months before beginning their planning as all of the information and contacts you need can be found on there!!

So, what I have always known but I didn’t fully appreciate was just how expensive venues can be. To an extent, the expense is justified. It’s a crucial part of the day – testament to this is the fact that once it was booked, we hardly had to think about anything in relation to the day and how it will run. You know where people are going, where they’ll park, where they’ll stay, eat and drink. You have a wedding planner to help organise suppliers (although this isn’t always obvious), guests, timings for cake cutting, speeches – all the extra bits that you don’t want to have think about on the day but that you want to run seamlessly. But, for all this, you pay a hire charge most of the time and also a per-head charge that is likely to be more than you would ever pay for yourself to go for a meal. Still, this is a special day, hopefully a one-off and so you justify it.

I felt cheated with the issues we had because we are paying a hire charge and then a more than substantial price per head for the meal, bubbles for first drink and toasts and also wine for the table together with various extras that we get on the day. We had squared all of this in our budget and, whilst it was the biggest shock of all to add up the total cost for 150 guests, we’ve saved and it’s all good. When all of this with the venue happened, I started to look around and places wanted five thousand pounds and upwards for a hire charge. I know it’s for exclusivity and there are lovely benefits with it etc etc etc but finding an extra five thousand pounds when the price per-head is still high and you still have many thousands to find on top of that is just too much. Too much for some pockets though I guess. I mean, some people arrange their wedding with a budget of just five thousand!

Some weddings are totally worth it. They’re what dreams are made of but you have to consider how much you are willing and able to spend on just one day. At least, that’s what we looked at. Now, our wedding isn’t going to be cheap by any stretch of the imagination. When we look at the total spend for our wedding, we cannot believe that we have been able to pull together such a lot of money – with sacrifice sure – but we managed it. Still, though, it’s infuriating that it’s not enough when you start looking around at other venues. We’re ok with this. We have decided that we are not going to spend even more on the wedding than we’re spending as what we already have planned is just perfect for us. We have plenty that we would like to spend that money on in our marriage and we don’t want to get into debt.

What I found most shocking is that by not finding an extra £5,000 for a venue, I began to feel like I had been a bit cheap and I had almost ‘got what I deserved’ with the venue. You know, pay peanuts and get monkeys? But that’s not the case. The venue is beautiful, the reputation for the food is amazing, so far (apart from the obvious major glitch) the service has been lovely. The rooms are great, the grounds are great. We are paying more per head than we would ever pay for ourselves and that’s great because it’s our wedding day and we want to show the people we love a great time.

So we’ve decided to stay with our original venue. The most important thing is that we get married to each other and in front of friends and family we love. We don’t have the time or the energy to look elsewhere or to consider getting an empty venue and decorating/bringing in caterers ourselves. Most of all we have decided that any further money to be spent will be spent on starting our lives together as a married couple and not just to hire a venue for the day.

We will try to fill the new 30 rooms with our guests so that the exclusivity aspect is sorted. We made our own mistake by not seeing the potential for the contract with the venue to go wrong. Silly really, when I’m a lawyer. But when you’re newly engaged and excitedly falling in love with venues when planning your big day, you can’t always see the possibilities. I mean, I asked about going into administration/cancellation policies/insurance if the place burnt down but I didn’t ask about plans for extension! Tut!

The venue is important. It is. There’s no arguing with that. But if you have a budget, stick with it and don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re not doing or spending enough on your wedding. It’s easy to get carried away. Try not to. If whatever you are doing is right for you and your betrothed, stick with it and ignore outside pressures. At the end of the day, it’s about the two of you and as long as you get married, that’s all that counts. Everything else is just decoration.

Bx

Those who have seen my earlier post know that we received a letter from our reception venue in January letting us know that they were ‘enhancing’ the hotel. They were adding 30 new rooms and redesigning the lobby and other parts of the hotel. We should rest assured that the building work would be completed before our big day in August and that our wedding would not be affected.

We went to see the hotel today and I have pretty much wanted to cry ever since. I am hugely disappointed. I know things could be worse. After the fright we had on Tuesday, having changes made to our wedding venue pales in comparison to what could have been. We have our health and we are getting married. Retaining perspective is essential but it doesn’t stop it making me feel really sad!

We decided on the venue when we stood to the side of the hotel and looked over the lovely big lawns and woodland in the distance. We loved the hotel. It had traditional features but was decorated with a modern finish. With just 17 bedrooms, it was perfectly intimate. Our biggest love though was the outdoor space and the feeling that it would be only us there. Being off the beaten track a bit, no one would just walk past or anything like that so it would just be our guests. The outdoor space was our favourite feature, standing on the lawns and feeling like there was nothing around us. We even made a feature of it on our Save the Date website – our main picture is of the lawns with the hotel in the background. Just what we wanted.

Now the new building which houses the 30 new bedrooms runs alongside the lawns where we first stood and made our decision. The traditional lobby area will be replaced by a large, all glass entrance and the back of the hotel no longer looks as beautiful as there will be a curved glass fronted restaurant area which looks out onto the lawns. To retain privacy for the wedding party, they have planted conifers down the centre of the lawn, halving the amount of space we have. When you look out of the marquee, instead of there being a lovely, open, wide view of the lawns, there is now a new pathway, trees, and other shrubs and bushes all over the lawns where they’ve made it look more manicured. There’s also a big circle ready for some kind of fountain/statue straight outside the marquee. Everything feels cluttered and overlooked by the new bedrooms.

No more lawn games, no more exclusivity, no more photos with a beautiful old house in the background.

After explaining how disappointed we were that they would wait until now to tell us about these changes (and subtly dropping into the conversation that I am a lawyer!) we were told that we still had a choice. We do not have to make the next payment, which is 50%, to give us more time to consider things. If we feel that the venue is no longer for us, we will have the deposit refunded and they would even try to help us find an alternative venue. They apologised for the way they handled things.

Credit where credit is due, they handled the meeting today well. We have the freedom to make a choice without losing our deposit. However, with 6 months to go, are we really going to be able to find an alternative venue?

We don’t  know what to do at the moment but I know we will make the best of whatever happens. I think I am going to look for alternative venues just in case something wonderful turns up. Otherwise, we’ll have to stay with this venue. I’m going to try to be positive about it but it’s just heartbreaking that they’ve changed the very things we fell in love with. Damn them.

Bx

I’ve just had beans on toast with a little topping of grated cheese (the best quick meal, ever!) and now I’m chilling out a bit before heading to my yoga class. I signed up for a 12 week course of yoga and I am in week 4 and loving it. I’m a very lazy person and I have hated exercise since I was a child. I think it was for a number of reasons – laziness mostly – but also because I hated getting changed in front of people. I have horrible skin on my legs and so the idea of showing them off in tiny shorts and a netball skirt was horrifying to me. Add that to the nastiness of some little girls and I definitely didn’t want to get my legs out! One girl once exclaimed loudly “urgh, look at your legs! If I had legs like that, I wouldn’t be seen DEAD in shorts!”. Nice. Anyway, I am blessed not to have bad skin on my face and neck and so the way I see it is, I don’t have to show my legs ever so I’m luckier than a lot of people!

Anyway, I digress. I’m loving yoga as it is self-disciplined. I can push myself as hard as I want to and if I fail in a posture, I only fail myself, no one else. It’s not competitive and it’s so difficult that you are actually forced to think of nothing other than your breathing and the ridiculous position you have twisted your body into! So I find it really does help me to relax and I notice a difference in my muscle tone which is always a plus especially when you want to be drop dead gorgeous on your wedding day!

Crazily, I’m signing up for a 8.5 mile run in June too. I’ll be running it with my Father-in-Law to be. We ran the half marathon together in October – he ran, I walked most of it – and I promised him that I’d be able to run the whole 8 miles. For my training for the half marathon, I managed to train to about 4.5 miles and on the day, I probably ran 6 of the 13 miles without stopping and then fell into an entertaining and quite painful walk-run-run-walk system. Ouch. So, I really should get out there and start training again……perhaps when the weather improves!

So, all this exercise is going to mean I’m going to be super fit by my wedding day, right?? Unlikely but it’s something to motivate me!

Bx

With all of this wedding and honeymoon planning, I knew I was to expect to feel excited, happy, positive, hopeful and every other wonderful feeling that comes with planning such an important day. What I didn’t expect was that it also comes with a fair amount of anxiety and stress! It’s not to say that the bad outweighs the good, oh no! It’s just that you have to learn that the bad stuff will come along and you have to see past it and embrace the loveliness again.

From day one, people have opinions about your wedding. You would expect the largest opinions to come from the mothers of the bride and groom and that is the case, but everyone else has an opinion too! Now, not that I mind (oh, you do mind, I hear you say, otherwise it wouldn’t have made its way onto your blog!), but just the other day, someone heard just a bit of a conversation I was having about the wedding. I was discussing bridesmaid dresses and the difficulty with picking yellow when someone who knew one of my bridesmaids piped up with ‘oh she won’t appreciate being made to wear that colour!’. Now, personally, I’m not offended by that – not least because I’ve been given fabulous inspiration to change the colour of the dresses and just have the yellow in the flowers and decorations – but it was more that I wondered why that person hadn’t thought about what they were saying before they said it. What if I had chosen yellow? Set my heart on it? Found the dresses? What then? Well then you’ve just poo-pooed my wedding plans!

Another person told me I couldn’t have yellow roses as it meant I ‘love another’. This was immediately after I’d said that the only detail I had decided on was to have yellow roses. My decision was made! As if I love another when I’m marrying THE ONE that very day. That very same day that I’m holding the yellow roses!

There are opinions on the guest list – I bet this is one of the biggest issues for most couples! Are you inviting this person and that person and your old aunty who you haven’t seen for 20 years? What’s worse is when you speak to someone who tells you about their outfit for your wedding when you haven’t even invited them yet! At the moment, we haven’t told anyone who is invited and who isn’t! We know it’s going to be controversial so we’re waiting as long as possible to break the news!

What I’ve learnt? You can’t do right for doing wrong.

What I’ve also learnt? Talk to each other. Take a breath when you hear what people say, then turn to the person you’re going to marry and say ‘this was said to me today’ and hear what he/she has to say. Today, G said to me ‘babe, it’s you and me against the world. It’s our wedding and we are doing the right thing because we decided to do it’.

That’s all I need to keep thinking. It’s me and him against the world. And we’re strong enough to handle everyone’s opinions!

Bx


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